You Have A Lot To Learn About Pirates (Skeleton Crew - S01E05) - Live Action

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What's a concubine? That's enough story time for now! SPOILERS.

Just another day at the office

Who would have thought that after a pretty terrible year for Star Wars overall, with probably the worst piece of Star Wars content ever earlier this year and after a trailer for an upcoming show that did not provide too much confidence... I would sit here and think that the last episode of Skeleton Crew was genuinely the very best Star Wars I have seen on Disney+ since Andor, and ranks among the best episodes ever.

Now both hands!

This is what you have to know and accept about Skeleton Crew, unlike almost any other Star Wars series it does not take itself seriously, at all. And I think I know now why last week's episode did not really work for me, it too was not meant to be taken seriously, but it was framed in such a way that you could take it seriously. But this week once and for all confirms that Skeleton Crew, while not being a sitcom or outright comedy, wants to be nothing but a lighthearted romp and adventure, with just the right amount of silliness. In fact, the show perfectly knows it's silly and it runs with the concept - without insulting the audience and their intelligence! In my opinion the issue with virtually any other Star Wars series is that it takes itself very, very seriously, sometimes it works, with Andor, but most other times it just fails miserably. Obi-Wan Kenobi, The Book of Boba Fett, The Acolyte or Ahsoka all had silly moments, but you always felt those moments were unintentional. Lil Leia outrunning adults with her short legs is one of the worst scenes in Kenobi. The slowmo moped chase in Book of Boba Fett... the weird attempts at humor in The Acolyte... all these shows take themselves pretty seriously and yet deviate into silly territory and it never works. Then there's The Mandalorian which usually also wants to be a lighthearted romp and adventure. But here is the difference between something like, say, Lizzo and Jack Black in The Mandalorian and Skeleton Crew. In The Mandalorian these characters are treated as jokes, you can't take them seriously, so it's silly, yes, meant to be fun, but it more often than not can become annoying really, because the characters do not really work. But while the Skeleton Crew is silly throughout, it never treats its (main) characters as jokes, Jod and the kids have real worries, fears, dreams and wishes... even if they are put in all these silly situations.

Jod gives Wim the "no attachments" talk....

The goal of this episode, of this entire series, is established almost immediately, when we are on At Attin. We keep learning a few things about it all and it becomes ever clearer that At Attin is a dystopia. Droids watch workers in the office for suspicious behavior. It turns out the parents of the kids conspire to break through the barrier, so they can communicate or send a message to the kids. But the droid watching the workers notices an energy spike on the terminal of Wim's father and approaches him. He used a hacking device to gain access codes that caused the spike. And we are treated to the "show me your hand", "now the other hand", "no, both hands!" routine. And this could be eyeroll inducing or just plain good old fun. And here it's the latter.

A space spa! What could ever go wrong!

The plot of the episode is quickly summarized. SM-33 is reactivated, he promises to be a good boy now, they ask the droid if he knows at all where At Attin might be, but he doesn't. He recounts the tale of fabled Captain Rennod the mutiny, a concubine that betrayed him (with the kids asking Jod what a concubine is, a question he dodges successfully) and how Rennod hid the coordinates of At Attin in his secret pirate lair under a literal mountain. And SM-33 knows where the planet with said mountain is... only that ever since Rennod's time it's now a slightly shady space spa for shady people.

Meet the wise elders!

We do get a nice character moment en route to the planet, when Wim feels homesick and misses his parents... and Jod gives him the usual "no attachments" speech a Jedi would give. And in this short scene Skeleton Crew once more highlights how much the other shows often fail. The Acolyte tried to deconstruct the Jedi, criticized their philosophy and the people in the order. And sure, there are plenty of things you could criticize about the order. But The Acolyte was mean-spirited and nasty, it tried to tear down the Jedi. Not so in Skeleton Crew, even though it also criticizes some of the core tenets, i.e. the no attachments rule, especially when it is misunderstood and twisted by someone who was almost certainly a padawan during Order 66 and in the years since twisted the Jedi tenets to fit his new lifestyle. So Jod talks about how Wim should forget about his fears, anxiety and parents... and we, the audience, feel and know this is wrong, you absolutely should not forget the people you love. And we see how a core Jedi tenet can go very wrong. This is also what I mean when I say the series treats its characters seriously, even if everything else is silly.

No hard feelings!

And the spa planet quickly develops into just one non-stop lough out funny romp. The kids hide under huge coats and pretend to be adults, because minors are not allowed at the spa. Jod tells the receptionist they are "wise elders" and speaks to them in gibberish. He bribes the receptionist silly until she gives them a suite. Jod also meets an old acquaintance, a female bounty hunter whom he once double-crossed... and she calls the pirates of course and tells them about Jod's whereabouts. The old pirate lair is directly under the spa and on the way to it we get some hijinks with the guards, we see how a poor spa worker gets swallowed whole by a hutt... again... and he only softly protests when the hutt grabs him. The kids meet some giant octopus creature bathing... which helps them by smashing in some stone slab that leads to the lair...

Not again...

The lair itself is something straight from an Indiana Jones movie with much too elaborate and improbable booby traps... a decapitation laser, acid pit.... it has it all. But the kids and Jod brave all these dangers and finally find the old pirate lair which looks exactly like you think it would, stuffed with riches and treasures, but all the kids want is the coordinates to At Attin. And Jod warns the kids not to touch anything, in case any of the gold may also be booby trapped.

Any good pirate lair needs booby traps!

But they eventually find a hidden mechanism that opens a dataport and SM-33 can access it. The kids and Jod finally have the coordinates to At Attin! And they also see a corrupted recording of Captain Rennod. There is certainly a reason we do not see his face. Chances are very high he's still alive and somewhere on At Attin. We also learn why At Attin is so important, it's the last surviving Old Republic mint. Now it's not explicitly answered why Old Republic credits would be worth so much more, but maybe it's similar to the Old Republic using a gold standard whereas New Republic Credits are maybe made of plastic or some other worthless material, not real gold or some other precious metal.

Now this is a pirate lair!

When everything seems peachy and fine things however take a dramatic turn... not only are the pirates on the planet now and hot on the heels of Jod. Jod has decided that it's time to stop playing nice. He's had it with the kids calling the shots and challenges Fern to a duel to take over as captain. He immediately overpowers her and puts a knife against her throat. This may seem surprisingly violent for a feelgood, lighthearted adventure series, but kids absolutely love this stuff and are not as fragile as many people think. Also, Jod makes it abundantly clear that he'd rather not hurt Fern and begs her to yield, so SM-33 accepts him as the new captain.

Jod is no longer fooling around

But then Wim has his great moment... he spots an ancient lightsaber on a pedestal and grabs it... the music swells dramatically! We all know how this ends... he will have his Finn/Rey moment and save the day and even beat the trained adult! Right? RIGHT?

How The Force Awakens should have been

Instead Wim holds the lightsaber the wrong way, as he ignites it the blade shoots into the ground, sparks fly, he startles and fumbles the saber... I am absolutely convinced the showrunners intended to poke fun at The Force Awakens here when complete nobodies who have never held a lightsaber in their hands in their whole life try to best a trained Force user. But in the confusion and hubbub the kids manage to activate a trapdoor and they disappear from the lair. But Jod is now the captain, has SM-33 as an ally and also has a lightsaber. Now all he needs is to get to At Attin in one piece!

So in my opinion "You have a lot to learn about pirates" was one of the best Star Wars things in ages. And when we talk about actual fun I maybe had this much good fun in early seasons of The Mandalorian, so years ago. Skeleton Crew is indeed the remedy for the nasty, mean-spirited The Acolyte or things like Obi-Wan Kenobi. If you embrace its silliness and just run with it. But as I said, it's not to the point the show thinks you are dumb or insults you, it just knows that the things happening are outright silly and decides to revel in it. It's the very definition of a lighthearted romp and adventure. But to reiterate, the show never betrays its characters, they are absolutely taken seriously, even if they fumble lightsabers or faint or pretend to be wise elders hiding under a coat. And this is why Skeleton Crew is actually one of the most charming and endearing pieces of Star Wars on Disney+ ever. You care about the characters, they are not even remotely annoying but likable, even shady Jod is likable in his way with his roguish charm. Even if he holds a knife against Fern's throat. He even ignores her complaint that they are just kids and that adults should not fight them. But I think he will still be a good guy in the end. And most importantly, the kids are real kids,behave like kids and are not just little adults. This is a show that gets kid characters right and the acting of the child actors is also really good in this.

So I am pretty certain that Jod will not be the big bad. I still think he will turn around again and help the kids get home. I also think Wim's starry-eyed love for all things Jedi may remind him what a Jedi is truly supposed to be and that "no attachments" does not mean you are a selfish, greedy bastard who is only in it for himself. But we will see!

Skeleton Crew is one of the most pleasant surprises in a long time. It's in many ways the anti Andor, i.e. silly, lightheated and fun... but in other ways it is exactly like Andor, because it excels at what it does and puts other shows to shame. Outside of early The Mandalorian seasons nothing has been as much fun before. Just roll with it. It's sad that this show is, based on what we know, a ratings failure with a very low viewership. Skeleton Crew absolutely deserves an audience. Maybe give it a try. It may rekindle something inside of you. This is the best Star Wars family entertainment in a long, long time.